Reflection

So in starting to write this blog I hoped to clear my head of the things that rattle around in there and since moving to australia can become a bit compulsive. Since having more time on my hands, due to lack of money, friends, social life, I've been a wee bit too self indulged, or have I ?

I'm a strong person, that much I'm sure, I'm a big personality, that I'm sure of too. I rub some people up the wrong way, but fortunately those I do that to I generally I find dull. I don't handle dull well. I like geeks, weirdos, obsessives, all those labels that some people avoid I like. At least they're interesting !

So as always I've gone off track!

Australia's been good for helping me reflect and here's the conclusion I've come to. Being strong doesn't mean not showing your vulnerability, it doesn't mean not being honest about how you are, and it doesn't mean asking for help when you need it.

Now, before you all panic that's not how I'm feeling now, it's how I know I've dealt with life before now. My parents divorce, my dad shacking up with a girl I went to school with, losing Gabriel, the subsequent miscarriage, getting pregnant again, moving to Australia. I've just sucked it all up and expected everyone round me to get on with it too.

I can't say this is the first day of my not being an emotional cripple, but maybe the first day of my putting it all out there, all that's in my head, the good, the bad & the ugly