Tuesday, August 27, 2013
So here's the thing. If you choose to run a business from home in the vein of direct selling eg Avon, Tupperware etc, whilst people tell you it's because they love the products etc, etc the bones of it is, you do it because you need the cash!!! I find it extraordinary that people don't see that & try to support people as a consequence.
In my experience its mostly mums, trying to juggle raising children and running a home & managing on the limited household budget that are attracted to this option, as a flexible way to make some cash and work around family commitments.
Many of you know I ran small business from home selling beautiful stationery,cards, gifts etc. in Scotland it was a great success and here it's not. In Scotland people loved the product & most importantly I think, supported me. Me as an individual that is. And here, well, very few do!! Which has led me to question my whole way of being and who I am how, how people see me and tbh it's a head melt.
On this journey in Australia of trying to make friends at 41, the lack of support I think is just compounding my feeling of isolation. I sound like I'm looking for cuddles or messages of support or whatever, but I'm very nearly at the point of just asking people "so do you just not like me"? " I'm sending you texts, emails etc etc gently trying to suggest you might like to help me"! And I'm getting walls of stoney silence.
In writing this I'm figuring people might think "you know what I don't hardly know you, so why should I?" and to that i say, tell me that and I'll not bother you again.
I guess some people might think, "your man works in oil & gas so why should I give you my money", well again if that's how you feel tell me & i'll delete you from my phone & Facebook, cause you obviously don't know me!!
If you can't be arsed then tell me and at least I'd know you were acknowledging my efforts.
If you're not interested then tell me that and I can save my breath, but it's the total lack of giving a shit that infuriates me. I spend a lot of my time with my kids telling them "this adult is speaking to you, please have the manners to answer", I genuinely didn't think I would have to teach adults the same.
So in the context of moving to Perth & meeting kindred spirits it's a bloody slog. If it wasn't for one Scouser, a Canadian and a fellow scot I genuinely think I'd be on the next flight home. After Sundays incident with the "lady" who tried to put one over us I'm really questioning this whole adventure. Whilst. I might be analysing it all too closely, I can't see I have any choice. There is a total lack of warmth, empathy, or cooperation here. It's every man for himself and you know what, that's not how I'm going to live my life or who I'm choosing to hang out with or have my girls be near!
From this point on if you don't make an effort with me or show some honestly then I'm culling you from my life. I have quite simply had enough of the silence and always being the one to make an effort!
If you feel guilty reading this, then you probably are. Make a decision to be my friend or not, just don't do anything just to be "nice". I want friends not acquaintances.
Friday, August 23, 2013
So here I am on a flight from Melbourne to Perth and as the title suggests I'm 6 wines in. I've not blogged for an age and it's time I did so, it's good for my soul. Facebook today told me of the passing of an old friends' uncle and as I was thinking of this I tuned into Quantas radio and lo and behold it's a trip into Scottish music from my youth. Halcyon days I think the literary would say, Del Amitri, Orange Juice, the Bluebells, Aztec Camera, Primal Scream, Marillion, Wet Wet Wet, Deacon Blue, Teenage Fanclub
My thoughts of late have been very much grounded in my own narrative of the past, of mistakes I've made, friendships come and gone and of regrets in how easily I have allowed special people and moments slip from me. So a little bit pished and a whole lot maudlin, I am raising a glass of Aussie red to the people of my youth who held my hair whilst I spewed, tolerated my pretentious meandering and ultimately have reconnected in the past few years and probably unbeknownst been a huge support in this at times lonely and isolated journey in the land of Aus, your words of support have and do mean a lot.
So here's to my friends spread far and wide from that wee speck on the west coast and a raised glass in your times of darkness, remembering times full of laughter and fun x