Sunday, July 6, 2014
Its day 20!! Wellness might be becoming a habit. Sticking to the funky green drink, drinking water and taking vitamins. Eye cream is being applied day and night and bowels are in a "fine fettle". I was going to address excercise issue next but I think the mind and soul might be next.
There are no 2 ways to look at my state of mind other than to say I'm incredibly lonely. Craig and the girls are really enjoying Perth, if Craig's job was a little more challenging then he'd be sorted. I on the other hand am still taking each day as it comes.
People have suggested I go back to Scotland for a visit to endure the rain and realise how lucky I am, but it's more than that. I don't actually know how to describe the feeling, my soul feels barren, I still feel a square peg and whilst I've met loads of decent people and I believe have made an effort, the same isn't reciprocated. I struggle to be interested in the minutiae of every detail of kindy or school and working ft excludes me from most of those cliques anyway. I am finding myself withdrawing more and more having spent energy to invite people over, to invite people to events, phone to see how they're going etc, etc I'm running out of energy. Making friends surely shouldn't be this hard. 100s of acquaintances, lots of surface connections.
So to change it??? Well I've joined a couple of on-line supper/arts clubs!!! At very least should be an experience. I just hope it's not dodgy folks looking for dates under a different pretext, they don't read like this. Hoping I might meet people with shared interests other than our kids play sport/ go to school together.
I've also been reading a little bit up and meditation and thought now might be the time to try and clear my mind of feeling lonely. Can't be good to be revisiting these thoughts so frequently. 15 minutes of de breathing/ meditation apparently should help!
So my next 20 days of wellness I'm focussing on meeting some new people outside all my current circles and taking 15 minutes every day to breath